The Things Kids Say

There are so many books about the things kids say- so I thought I might write down some of the things I have heard children say. Please feel free to contribute!

During my first Prac for uni ever (I had been in the classroom for three days) when a child began talking about twins. I asked him if he was a twin with his brother and he replied that he wasn't because his brother was bigger than him. At the time I was on prac with a very good friend of mine who is Indian (with very brown skin). I asked if she and I could be twins. He stopped for a moment and looked at us then with a look of absolute scorn on his face (as though we were that most simplistic creatures on the planet) and replied "No you cant be twins" then looked at me and said "your hands are bigger than hers"

When my sister was younger my grandmother had some Nigerian students boarding with her. Erin never voluntarily spoke to anyone as a baby but she walked right up to one of the students looked into his face and in a very clear voice said: "You have black eyes"

I was listening to a child in my class a few days ago and I heard him singing a song that says: "This is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made". I told him that I knew that song too and he cried out loudly: "DO YOU KNOW GOD TOO!!!" I replied that I did and he decided that I needed to have my theology tested and asked me if I knew the Devil too. I said that I had heard of him so he asked if the Devil was good or bad. I think I passed his test as he went home and declared to everyone that I was Jesus' friend too.

My mother was in a shopping centre and a child was alone and crying. Mam walked up to her, crouched down to her level and asked in a gentle voice if she was lost. She stopped crying, looked at mam and said in a very clear voice: "Actually no, my mummy is".

There was a report during Easter during which the reporter asked some children what happens at Easter. They got the normal replies of chocolate, easter bunny etc. but one savvy child responded that "At Easter time, they put Jesus on a Cross high up on a hill so that he could see all his people"

In spite of my previous post (or perhaps supporting what I wrote in my previous post) about myself- I am once again going to post about myself- surprise surprise.

Over the last two months (ish) I have been feeling quite down and out of spirits- I have been unmotivated and most of the time I am disinclined to do anything- I find myself forcing myself to go to church, bible study, see friends, go to work, etc. I just want to be alone and not be around other people. It's not like me- I haven't been like this in about 3-4 years- I was like this for about a year or so during uni but I got a kick up my backside and remedied the situation. I have absolutely no idea as to why I have been like this but I decided about a month ago that enough was enough and have started eating heaps of fruit and walking a lot. This seems to have worked to some degree but I have found myself getting teary at the stupidest, lamest things. I don't do the whole crying thing- I really don't- my family calls me the Ice Queen but lately (although not in front of others of course- I don't do that either) I have been getting all misty eyed. For example I was driving my car about a fortnight ago and a song came on (Butterfly Kisses) and about halfway though the song I was bawling like a baby.

One of the problems is that I know of some of the reasons why I am down and when I try to pray for these things- I cant do it honestly- I found myself asking God to help me accept his will for my life but I didn't really mean it I want God to change his mind for me, so that things work out for me, so I ended up not praying and because I haven't been praying properly I am less inclined to want to do what God wants.

Anyway the other night after crying myself to sleep for the third night in a row I decided to pray honestly for the first time in a while and asked God to help me want to accept His will and to make my life something that will bring Him glory - I DID NOT PRAY THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN I PRAYED THAT I WOULD WANT THIS. It is really difficult. I have only ever had this once before and it was a struggle because I COULD NOT pray that my step mother would become a Christian because I didn't want her to be one- I didn't believe that she deserved to be one and I couldn't honestly pray for her. Once again I had someone kick me for that one too and got over myself (because obviously I deserved to be a Christian) and got over it.

Enough rambling and moaning- I am just going to keep existing until I can force myself into actually living and being a human again- shouldn't take too long- fruit is really helping- this moan and groan is after three weeks of fruit- imagine what I was like before that

I, I, I me, me, me

I, I, I, me, me, me. What am I doing at the moment, why are things happening to ME Why aren't things happening to ME. I, believe it or not am not trying to write a post about ME this is about selfishness although at the moment those two things seem to be synonymous. It has come to my notice lately that I keep trying to make things about myself. In my prayers especially I have often found myself thinking things like "its not fair" and "why are things happening to me?"
I try to be unselfish in my prayers but end up saying things like "I pray that I will accept God's will for my life" and that God will... whatever it is that I am asking. I always thank God for sending Jesus but in my head it is so that I will be able to go to heaven.

I, I, I, me, me, me.

In this post I mentioned myself 31 times pathetic really

Life the Universe and Everything

So why is it that what I really want in life is denied to me? Alright so boo hoo poor me call the waa-mubulance.

I have been having my cousin and her 19 month old baby staying at my house for a few days and it has just reinforced my absolute desire to have children all of my own- it is all I have ever wanted- when I was younger people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would answer 'a mum'. At 17 I was almost given the opportunity to 'adopt' another of my cousins daughter (well mum was going to take her and then I would be the one to raise her and eventually adopt her) but we made the decision (well it was made for me) that she was going to stay with her mother.

Throughout adolescence and young adulthood it was a constant challenge to me to remember that I needed to squash that desire for several reasons particularly because of what the Bible says about it.

It has been constantly in the back of my mind over the years and occasionally gets dredged up every New Year and when I am feeling particularly down and depressed. But these last few days with this baby have been a real challenge to my head.

My prayers at the moment have been full of tears and questioning why? Why is it that the one thing you desperately want I cant have? Why is it that God chooses to deny those things? I want to trust God and rely on Him and to wait for His timing but it is SOOOO HARD! I sometimes think about it and get so angry. I have always thought that it is best for a baby to be raised with both parents and wanted to wait for a partner- this became a husband as I became a Christian but the temptation lately has become overwhelming.

I know I am moaning at the moment but I don't understand why it is such a challenge to me? I want to have God as my ruler and I know (in my heart?- or is it my Head) that there is a reason why I am where I am at this point in my life but how long should I wait? I actually can't wait forever (physiologically) and I want children (how selfish is that!!!) I want to be a mother with all I have- why is it denied to me?

All right enough whinging and being down about it- obviously I have to deal with this and until that point in my life (if it ever happens) that God decides that I will have children I guess I just have to keep fighting myself and God about it.

These are the ramblings of a depressed whinger and I am not usually like this- it doesn't always feel like a crushing weight or a giant wave crashing down on me and this too shall pass.

I am probably also being weirded out because of my friends wedding next week- I am really happy about it and for her but I know that in the next year or two she will be pregnant and having children of her own and I don't begrudge her that- I guess I am just jealous or something

All right- dropping the issue now

And so...

Graduation. Year 12 1997.

The music began, I immediately recognised the tune and automatically the words started running through my head. I sat wondering what relevance this song had to graduation. Then I heard the new and improved lyrics that a 17 year old had made up. It should have been: "And so this is Christmas..." Instead it was: "And so this is living and what have we done, the old days are over, the new ones just begun".At the time I felt slightly ill- not because of the significance of the words but because I thought they were they were so tacky and ridiculous. I wust confess that the words didn't really mean much to me- I was already an adult, after all had already moved out of home (and moved back home again) and the people in my life were there to stay.

Within one year I had changed directions in my life at least 3 times, had stopped speaking to my best friend and had fallen in and out of "love" twice- funnily enough= I don't remember their names. The grown up life wasn't easy!

During the following 2 years, I made a host of different 'acquaintances' who I believed were friends and had one major crush that lasted for the whole time (and a little bit longer) It was during this time that I started taking on board some of the challenges of being a Christian. I realised that there was more to life than myself - social justice played a large part in my beliefs and ministry. Now I was grown up for sure

After training and gaining my TAFE qualifications, once again a change in goals seemed necessary- I moved in with my dad and went to uni. Once again I was certain I was grown up. It was there at uni that I made some genuine friends again- I had been in isolation and seclusion for too long. I rekindled a friendship with a friend from high school and formed friendships with a few other people- I stopped going to church. I felt lefty out and awkward- I didn't want people to feel obliged to be my friends. Once again I developed a 'liking' for someone Once again nothing came from it. I thought "so this is what being a grown up is all about" Life and ambition seemed perfectly clear to me. - I couldn't understand why it had taken so long for me to grow up.

Work was the next logical step- thats how it goes- you study then you work. For once I didn't have to fight for this- it was handed to me- I couldnt believe it! I had been targeted- only about 900 people got targeted that year across NSW between preschool and year 12- I was one of three from my uni- I was very excited.

So here I am, 3 years later, I am 27 - surely I must be grown up now, I mean I have a full time hob, several debts (a very grown up thing I am told) and own a car: ALL GROWN UP THINGS!

So why do I feel so insignificant? I mean adults are confident, strong willed, sure, steady, reliable- aren't they? That's what I used to think about adults- now that I am one - I am still waiting for that magic wand to wave and I will be confident, beautiful, faithful, married, a mummy, a teacher- all of the things that make a person worth something- well at least I know that as I am a teacher- I am 1/6th of an adult- so let me see- I was 25 when I got my job as a teacher so 25 x 6 = 150. Judging by those calculations I should finally be an adult when I am 150 years old- Easy!!!

Obviously what I really lack is patience, however I have a particular aversion to praying for patience- it is the 2nd most dangerous thing a person can pray for in my opinion- the 1st one being wisdom.

Someday I expect I will grow up.

"And so this is living, and what have you done, the old days are over then new ones just begun..."

!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

Welcome to my life...

"Welcome to my life"- kind of a fitting song/ phrase for me at the moment. I have been having a few rather stressful weeks with friends fighting (not a personal stab guys- I promise) problems at work, family stuff and life in general. Not that I am complaining- Sometimes it is boring not having issues, sometimes though they can be overwhelming.

Some good stuff that is happening is that I go on holidays for 5 weeks starting tomorrow and I plan to enjoy them. NO WORK FOR 5 WEEKS!!!!!!!!

I have some stuff that must be done- my dad is getting married and I kind of have to pretend that I like the lady- a bit tough to do at times, for the first time ever I will be able to go to a New Years Eve party- something I have never done before as during High School I baby sat and then I was on Beach Mission every year since then. I will miss doing mission this year but I am kind of glad for the break.

I also have to do some serious exercising and work on my weight which is part of the stress about work and generally about my health and stuff so walking and swimming are on my daily list and timetable

Anyway I must go now as I still have one day of work left to go and need to get some sleep
Merry Christmas and God Bless

PS I think my mum and maybe my sister may come to Church on Christmas Eve- not sure about it yet but please pray for them

Sin, Sinning, Sinfulness

Okay, so this is a very half formed idea and I hope it comes out right but if it doesn’t then please feel free to comment, correct and rebuke if necessary. The idea for this post has come from a few different conversations I have had with friends as well as some points in sermons that I have been thinking about.

Someone asked me what I thought about issues such as the ordaining of homosexual ministers once and my first thought was that it was a terrible thing (before anyone jumps down my throat about this- this is not the aim of my post). Anyway, a little while later I was speaking to a friend about whether it would be worse for a minister to be having an affair, be gay or something else (I cant remember), I was a little unsure about my answer to this and it wasn’t until he said that he thought they were the same that I thought about it in terms of how we view sin and how God views sin. (Please note that I do not have my bible with me so I am not backing this up with references)

As a person I have found that my very hypocritical view of sin is that certain sins are worse than others- for example, sex outside of marriage is much worse than lying (on a small scale) or gossiping. However I don’t think this is the truth. When this was pointed out to me I started to think about it in other terms.

I was thinking about what sin actually is- rejecting God’s authority and his rules- something I am particularly well adept at, and yes, part of this is deliberately ignoring the bibles guidelines but it is also much bigger- IGNORING GOD!!! Jesus said that the most important laws to follow were “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul ad with all your mind.” And the second is “Love your neighbour as yourself”. My thought on this is that I can never “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul ad with all your mind.” God is not in my head all the time- I am far too selfish for that. If these are the most important commandments to keep- I think they are also the hardest. I have never murdered anyone, I have never committed adultery, and I think in my mind these are much worse than the others- because you can see the results- there is something to judge whereas other people may not necessarily see the other stuff- unless people can see all of my thoughts then that is between me and God.

So here is my question, when asking for God’s forgiveness- is it important to pray for the smaller stuff or should we just be praying about loving God- all of the other stuff comes into that one commandment. I guess I am trying to very ineloquently talk about which is what- sins as individual bits and pieces such as when I was younger and we had to go to confession at church and we would ‘confess’ our sins (we had them all lined up ready to go- I lied to my mum, I punched my sister, etc.), sinning as in committing sins- and the idea of deliberately doing something or not doing something we are supposed to be doing, and sinfulness as in our nature and our very ignoring of God and not putting God before everything else and loving Him with all my heart, mind and soul.

I guess when it comes down to it- what should I be praying about? Small individual sins, sinning, or being sinful- all of the above? Is there a difference?

I was tied- there was a tie breaker so I just got in as Maximus

You scored as Maximus. After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus. Maximus is valiant, courageous, and dedicated. He wants nothing more than the chance to avenge his family, but his temper often gets the better of him. Maximus 67% The Amazing Spider-Man 67% William Wallace 63% Captain Jack Sparrow 42% Neo, the "One" 42% Indiana Jones 29% El Zorro 25% James Bond, Agent 007 25% Lara Croft 21% The Terminator 21% Batman, the Dark Knight 17% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Welcome to my life

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Well, this is my life- hmm...